It's Just Hair...Right?

 My beautiful short hair - Thank you to my amazing sister in law for the great cut!!!

 Me and my boys trying out some head wraps the other night - Liam wanted him and Don to look like Mommy!!!  I love these two more than life itself!!! How cute is Liam in a bandana!!!

When I found out I had cancer I assumed that it would be a whirlwind of awfulness!  Trust me, it hasn't been all rainbows and sunshine but I can definitely say it could be worse.  I saw that first hand at my first chemo treatment.  

These last two weeks have actually been tolerable.  I have had a few minor side effects, like tingling in my feet and legs, some very mild nausea and I have noticed that I get tired more easily.  I also was able to go back to work last Monday, which was amazing!!  I know, who wants to work, but when the alternative is crappy daytime TV and moping around the house all day, work is definitely a great distraction and has definitely lifted my spirits.  Considering the amazing people I work with, it has been the best week out of the last eight weeks I have had.   I cannot thank them enough!  The support was amazing and more than I could have asked for.

I also did encounter the inevitable side effect this past Friday.  Two weeks to the day from my first chemo treatment my hair started to fallout.  I don't mean like one or two strands here and there but clumps all of the time.  It shocked me which was weird considering I have been expecting this since the chemo started flowing through my system.  I did have a few of my normal, "why me" cry sessions but I guess I wouldn't consider myself normal if that didn't happen.  So, after two days of my hair consistently falling out the decision was made that my loving, wonderful husband was going to get to do something that most women wouldn't even entertain their husbands doing...EVER!!!  He was going to shave my head.  Even though I have given myself what seems like a million pep talks since this whole ordeal began, and telling myself that it is only hair and it will grow back.  The finality of it and knowing that it was about to happen was really scary and to be completely honest, sad.  I can't tell you how many times in my life I have said I hated my hair and taken it for granted that when that razor turned on I wish I could have taken every single one of those times back to just have a few more minutes with MY hair.  As I sat in our garage and Don began I could feel my head getting lighter and by god, colder (how do guys do this all of the time), it was scary and quite frankly I didn't want to see a mirror within a mile.  After a few great Sinead O'Connor jokes and some amazing compliments from Don I got up and looked in the mirror.  Don kept saying that it looked great and that I had a great shaped head so that helped with the initial shock of the first look.  I can't say that I hate it but it is definitely weird to see myself with no hair.  I do have to that I have an exquisitely shaped head and it is not lumpy, YAY!  I also do look a lot like my little brother, he won't be able to deny that we are brother and sister now (insert evil laugh here).  Also, just so you all know that I have best husband in the world because he is currently upstairs shaving his head with a bic razor so that we can both be bald and so I don't have to do this on my own.  I love him more than I can express to each and every one of you.

Quite frankly, it is a scary thought that I do have to go out in the world tomorrow and actually see people but I do have my new faithful wig friend "Angelique", she's pretty sassy and will help me to feel normal in my everyday life and I also have my arsenal of beautiful and stylish head wraps and wear thanks to my wonderful Aunt and the ladies at Hope's Boutique! Now that it is all said and done I don't think that it is going to be so bad not having hair for a while. I know that it is going to be awesome to not have to use a blow dryer or curling iron every single morning and showering will be a breeze, I just have to look at all of the positives and it will go by in no time and hey, who knows I may just get my wavy or curly hair I have always wanted when I grows back!!  The big plus so far is that Liam thinks I look cool so that great, I was afraid he was going to be scared of me but he just likes to rub my head because it feels cool.  

Looking towards the future, I have my second treatment this Wednesday, January 21st and we are officially scheduled to have Sadie on Tuesday, February 17th at 1pm!!  YAY!!  After everything that has been going on it is exciting to have a day to look forward to and what better day than meeting your daughter for the first time.  We are very excited for her to join our little family and I cannot wait to have someone to grow hair with :)  

I leave you all with this picture so that you can see that it really is just hair, if I can be bald and still have a smile on my face you can get through anything.  Until next time friends...